So, I started as an IN HOME respite/Hab provider for autistic kids, but the agency I work for also licensed foster homes. In May 2011 they called me about taking a 1 month respite placement at my home for a foster family that couldn't take one of their placements out of state on vacation. The respite situation went so well that about 2 weeks after the family returned, the agency called again. This time, a placement from the same home (10/boy) was being disrupted and had nowhere to go. They needed respite for a few weeks while they figured things out. Well...a few weeks turned into 6 months. Finally, they asked me to sit through the classes and get fully licensed as a child developmental foster home. I had always loved children, and the idea of getting licensed to foster and adopt was like second nature. Licensing went great and was made official in January. That's great. I licensed for ages 0-17 as my agency required, though I have a listed preference as ANY GENDER, RACE, ETHNICITY UNDER 3, with an emphasis on infants. I am YOUNG (22) and single, and felt younger kids were more in my ability range. The agency PROMISED that my next placement would be an infant or toddler. In March 2012, that initial respite/foster placement was disrupted and moved to a residential treatment facility. My agency called afew weeks later with another placement. This time, a 7 yo girl. Though older than I wanted, I agreed to give it a chance IF we could amend my license to increase to 2 placements allowed so that I could still take a younger child. One week later, the amendment was made and "Princess" was brought to my door...along with her OLDER sister! I was furious, but understood that it wasn't the girls' fault. With a few flustered words to my agency's director, I signed their paperwork and settled in. The girls' case plan was RU with the case going well and visits current and happy...or so the CW told me. This is not the case. I have had the girls now for 6 months, and their goal has been changed to adoption. Though I care about them deeply, I do not feel that I am old enough or experienced enough to deal with the preteen stage that "Hippie Girl" is entering. I never was. The CW has asked me about adopting, and though I wish I could, it would not be fair to the girls. I have made it clear to the CW, my agency, and the girls that though I love them, they need a 2 parent family with older parents that can help them more than I can. The girls are excited to meet their forever family, and NOW the CW informed me that because HG is almost 12, their chances of adoption are dwindling! WHAT!?! The CW has changed their plan to Adoption/Long term FC. I do not know what to do! I care for the girls, but my heart is set on adopting a young child that I can grow with. Myself and HG are only 10 years apart, and we are butting heads daily. I am scared that if a family is not found for these amazing girls, that I will continue to be pressured to adopt. I was promised young placements. My heart is aching for a baby to raise as my own. To adopt. It seems as if my agency is just passing me placements from other homes in the agency that disrupt.
Sorry for the rant. My question is: Has anyone else had this experience? It feels as if I am being bullied into older placements when my heart is set on infants/toddlers. I understand that older children need homes too, but I honestly feel that my age is a hindrance to successfully helping older children. I have a hard time walking past the baby section at any store without wanting to cry, because it feels that I will never get the baby or toddler I was promised. I want to help but I am so torn. If this continues, I don't know that I will have what it takes to do FC long term. ADVICE?
Source: http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/407605-not-what-i-promised.html
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